My little herb garden

But after buying lots of herbs over the last few weeks and throwing out rather a lot of them when they had wilted, I decided to try and grow a few myself. Now, I am not a gardener. I enjoy it on the rare occasions I do it but I would much prefer to do other things. The main problem with that is that after a rush of activity I then forget about things and have to do a major weeding and tidying job that turns me off gardening for a few more months. I was going to buy one of those above-ground metal garden thingos but they were so expensive. And, given my poor track record with gardening I thought it better to maybe start small and build up to bigger things. (The similarity between this and the 12WBT has not been lost on me - another good lesson learned and put into action!)

My 3-pot herb garden.
Maybe the kumquat (in the largest pot)
will get regular watering too.

So, last Friday I went to Bunnings and bought a selection of herbs - plus, snow peas and a strawberry plant. I also got some veggie and herb potting mixture.

Yesterday I cleaned out a couple of old pots I had lying around with dead plants in them and planted out the herbs. I have put the pots close to my front door where they have a good chance of catching my attention so that I will remember to water them.

It is all about setting yourself up for success. Those 2 'P's of Planning, Preparation and Persistance! And in this case, Purchasing, Pot Preparation and Planting!

Comparison with others serves no purpose, but ...

I was watching Michelle Bridges' 12WBT Weekly Mindset video the other night and she was saying that comparison with others serves no purpose if it is going to have a negative impact on you. I have not really been one to compare myself with others. I often admire, but I am lucky in that I rarely envy. But I often compare what I was like with what I am now and I am not happy with that. And yes, it can be negative. It can be immobilising. I know I can't swim like I used to look like I was when I was younger, or be the same person I was all those years ago. But I really don't want to either.

No, I have to backstep on that - I would absolutely love to be able to swim as fast as I used to because that ability was wasted on the younger me. I was so fearful and nervous and terrified of failure that I never enjoyed racing. I think that now I would, maybe just maybe, have better perspective and not be crippled by the anxiety of the past. But that is not something that I can really test as my 56-year-old body is not going to swim as fast as my 16-year-old body.
But I can be the best version of me. The me of now who has a gorgeous son, still has a mother alive, great friends who take me with all my foibles, and two dogs who think I am just perfect (such perceptive and intelligent canines).

Michelle Bridges

Anyway, back to the story. I was watching Michelle's video broadcast and I was agreeing with everything she was saying. Then realised I had wasn't actually listening. I had totally zoned out and was, instead, fixated on her lovely toned arms, thinking to myself "I want arms that look like hers!" It wasn't envy, it was admiration. It wasn't me thinking "How dare she have arms that are toned without any batwings." It was me thinking, "She has worked hard for those arms and all that hard work has paid off for her."


The Future Me!

Then she started talking about how, as we are nearly a third of the way through the program, it would be a good idea to revisit our goals. And I thought to myself that I need to devise a goal that relates to my biceps. Because I already know what the reward will be - wearing a sleeveless top for the first time in over 30 years.

So, sometimes comparisons are useful, especially when they are used for inspiration.

My next blog will be how I may be becoming a 12WBT zealot :)

End of Week 2 of 12WBT

Week 2 was a tough week. I was taken aback by how challenging it was and turned out to be and how unequipped I was to deal with it. I was low-vibe pretty much all week. Tired, crumpy (that's a mix of crabby and grumpy), fed-up - you name it, I felt it.

It was only on Sunday when I was trying to re-group that I realised that what I had been feeling should not have come as a surprise. I had thrown myself into the 12WBT 110% and nearly burnt myself out. Not surprising given that is pretty much what I do with everything.

What's my favourite saying again? The one about the definition of insanity being about doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome. Ta da! Did it again. There's a certain irony in that. So, I had exercised like a maniac, ate fresh and tasty but not enough, didn't drink enough water and didn't get enough sleep. You don't have to be Einstein (another of my favourite sayings) to know that I was charging head-first on collision course with fatigue.
Even though the weekly weigh-in is tomorrow, I have a doctor 's appointment this afternoon to go through the results of the pathology tests I had last week - all part of my 56-year road service that the doctor said would be a good idea. So I had a quick peek at the scales this morning. I don't usually do this - I am pretty disciplined about only getting on the scales on Wednesday weigh-in day because, frankly, I don't want to focus on weight because obsessing about my weight is what got me in this mess in the first place.

Anyway, I have lost 2.5kgs this week, making it a total of 6 kilos on the 12WBT (7 kilos if you count the 1kg I lost in the 12WBT Pre-season, and 16.5kgs all up since I started swimming on 17 September last year). I will do my proper Wednesday weigh-in tomorrow. Even though my primary aim from this program is to get fitter and manage stress, it is great to know that there has been some loss too. It is now 'odds on' that it may actually be fat not water that I have lost.

Week 2 - what a bla

It is Sunday, 24 February 2013, and I am nearly at the end of Week 2 of the 12WBT. And what a 'bla' week it was. Tied, cranky and hungry but worst of all, I don't feel like I have had any good sleep.

Last night was a write-off. I have arthritis in my neck, back and leg and when it is about to rain it gives me grief. So why don't I use my brain and use some anti-inflammatories to make things a little bit more bearable?
Who knows, it is probably like having your period take you by surprise each month. How many decades do we women have them for and yet, each month, it is the same response (well, from me at least) - "Oh, that is why I am feeling crappy". I can't use That Time Of The Month (TTOTM) anymore but I am still doing the same old, same old things with my pain management.

I will digress for a moment and just mention that when I first saw the acronym TTOTM on the 12WBT Capital Challenge Facebook page (it's for Canberra people doing the 12WBT) I was flummoxed. I ended up having to parade my ignorance and put up a post asking what it meant. And when I got told other members of the page also admitted they had also been wondering what it meant!That's what I love about getting older. It frees you of the fear of not asking something because you are too embarrassed. Anyway, back to my original topic - feeling bla this past week.

On the 12WBT we are being taught not to lose sight of our goals and to revisit them. And to remember what our 'commitment' was - or rather, what the commitment we made IS. So that is what I am going to do. And I am going to stop beating myself up that I didn't do all the exercise I had planned this week. But I am also acknowledging that although I didn't do all I had planned, I did do more than I would have done in the past (one BodyPump class, one Gym Circuit class, one Masters swim squad and one other swim) and I gave 100% to each activity).

So, my lesson from Week 2 is to learn from the experience but not dwell on the past, which I cannot change.

My one month goals ...

(due week starting Monday 4 March 2013) are to:

 

 

Lose 5kg (goal achieved 26 February 2013)

 

Swim 200 metres butterfly non-stop

 

 

Swim 1km freestyle non-stop in under 35 minutes

 

 So, I have now put them out into the universe so now I just have to keep calm and just f...ing do it!

 

 

The "Perfect Pair"

I have searched high and low on the internet and in shops for a swimsuit that is suitable for a big busted woman to do some serious laps in. I have so many unsuitable purchases hanging on the back of my bedroom door, tags still on, bought in a moment of desperation that I could just about open my own shop. The one pair of togs I found that I like are no longer available (isn't that always the case!). Their days are numbered and the race has been on to find their replacement.

I have lost count of the hours I have spent trawling the internet trying to hunt down that elusive 'Perfect Pair'. So often I have got really, only to have my heart drop when I see that they only go up to size 16.

My needs are simple. First and foremost they must fit. I need coverage but I don't need something like it is out of the 1920s.

I don't want matronly. Nor do I want heavy-duty fabric that practically drags you under the water. And I definitely don't want one with bra cups that stick up out of the water like something Madonna used to wear. In fact, no kind of padding - lord knows I don't need any bigger boobs.

I want light, fast material that makes it easier for me to swim. I also want legs that aren't cut so high at the back that my bum falls out or so high at the front that I need a full Brazilian wax. And a nice bright colour (I hate navy) would be nice.

Swimsuit manufacturers, it is time to get real, for goodness sake. In my Masters swim squad the majority of us haven't seen size 16 since our teen years. In my case that is 35 years ago!

But, be still my beating heart, I think I may have finally found a pair that suits me. And I had a choice of colours. How amazing is that! I have ordered and now the wait begins to see if I have my Perfect Match.

This may be the swimsuit of my dreams - my Perfect Pair

My inspiration

My Inspiration Board only needs one picture. My greatest inspiration is my Dad. On 21 August this year it will be 5 years since my dear Dad passed away.  He was 92. I was there with him at the end, holding his hand. I wasn't ready to let him go but I told him he could go to sleep - and he did.

After he passed away I shaved him and helped the nurses wash him and put him in clean clothes. Watching someone die of kidney failure is hideous. It was the most awful 10 days of my life and I learned a lot in that time - about loss and grieving and how each person approaches difficulties differently.

I miss him. We spent a lot of time together. I liked him. He was a good man. The pain is not raw any more but some things can still make tears come to my eyes.

I can remember how he taught me to dance by standing on his feet. How he spent hours driving me to swimming, ballet and netball. How he never missed a sporting match or a swimming carnival or a sports day. How he kept working and playing golf until he was in his mid-80s. How was still able to beat me playing squash when I was 18 and he was nearly 60. How people respected his opinion and common sense. How he was always there for me. How he listened to me and, only if asked, would offer me advice. How he let me make my own mistakes. How he knew I would learn from those mistakes. How he never said to me "I told you so!" How he was always there to pick up the pieces. How I trusted him absolutely. How he was always on my side.

When I was a young girl I used to sit on his lap and twirl his hair while he sang You Are My Sunshine to me. I still love that song. I have a copy of the words to the song in my lounge room. It makes me happy and sad at the same time.